Boy, 24 hours after I post and things are already changing.
Letters are rearranging themselves all over the place. I have no control over it, it seems. M might now become B, B is being cancelled in favor of Q, and goodness knows what’s going on with X.
I’m exhausted already. Is this what motherhood is like? I suddenly imagine all of my letters growing arms and legs and cartoonish eyes and running roughshod through my apartment, jumping on the bed, pulling cereal out of the cupboards as I try desperately to get them to behave. Where would a mother of twenty-six alphabet letter babies store them when she wasn’t using them? Maybe I should invest in something teacher-y, like a blackboard. Or a nice pencil case.
God, Children and Youth is going to be all over me when I decide to have kids. Dear Children and Youth Services, I promise I will never shove my children into pencil cases. Not my real children, anyway. I’m considering it with my alphabet babies.
Annnnnd, time to move on.
So next weekend is the big weekend: the kickoff to my.alphabet.year. I decided it was only fitting to start at the beginning of the alphabet, with A. Which means, I’M GOING ANTIQUE HUNTING!!!
I love antique hunting. I don’t do it enough. Probably because Initech does not pay me enough. I studied history in college for four years, so you could say I’m a HUGE nerd. I was that girl who spent her weekends on the top floor of the library, looking through letters and war memos written by long-gone generals in the British army while they occupied Egypt in the early 20th century. Don’t laugh, because it’s totally true. OK, you can laugh a little. I am willing to admit I’m a nerd.
Antique hunting, then, for me, is so much fun. I love searching through items looking for that one hidden gem. If I’m ever on the show Hoarders on television it will be because I finally managed to find the mecca of antiques, as well as a semi-handsome sugar daddy with no record (white-collared crimes may be accepted) to bank roll my love.
Next weekend, though, I will have to settle for my own checkbook. Which means I might be able to buy a Nixon election pin, if I’m lucky.
I’ve had awful luck antiquing in the past. One weekend last summer my mom and I went to this antique mall I had heard of in East Liverpool, Ohio. For those of you who do not live in the area, you need to bring your Kevlar to 90% of East Liverpool. The antique mall was located smack dab in the middle of that area. Needless to say we didn’t stay long. Hit up Eat N’Park instead.
This time, though, I have a recommendation from a coworker. Yes, there are a few people there who are still in possession of their souls. He swears I would love the place, he’s bought a lot of retro furniture there for his apartment. He’s as broke as I am, so I trust the prices won’t be heart-stopping. Of course, I’m basing all of this on faith.
Check back this week to see how my experience went. I’ll be sure to post pictures, and if everything goes as planned, I’m sure I’ll have some crazy and/or creepy story to tell. I seem to attract them.
Alphabet children, assemble! It’s time we march out on this little adventure!
A is for Antique Hunting, here we come 🙂